Michelle this is such a great read — I guess I’ve always longed for a third place without really realising it. The thing I find difficult is that I live in a village and there are no coffee shops (only pubs, which don’t get me wrong, I love and we do spend a fair bit of time there). The nearest coffee shop is a 10 minute drive away and I feel I’ve always wanted to be somewhere with a place like that within walking distance.
I too, have started to rely on the online community more but still felt that lack of in person interaction. I’ve decided to start hosting my own irl writers brunch I’m looking forward to what connections it will bring 🤍
I'm in a small town and it's also really difficult, everywhere is closed by 5pm and it's tricky to see anybody after work. Your writers' brunch sounds like so much fun!
Loved this, definitely something I feel resonate with. Wherever I’ve lived I’ve always sought out that place of community! I think I’m quite lucky where I’m based now, there’s a lot more of it here than when I was in the city. Although I do feel guilty of not always making the most of it, so easy to put those needs last!
Also, there was a really interesting podcast episode Pandora Sykes did with Corey Keyes about ‘languishing’—it covered a lot of different things but one of them was the need for IRL community.
Thanks so much Allie! It's tricky in a small town, but I think this year I'm going to make an effort to go to the silent book club in a nearby bookshop, as well as join the weekly writer's club. Fingers crossed it helps with this gaping hole in my life!
I’m so glad to have read this. I am also still looking for that third place. People forget how the lack of broader community and it’s effort to instal such places play a role in the very common chronic loneliness that people experience
Thanks for your kind comment Sol ❤️ I hope we can establish more grassroots community spaces, because they're really so essential for so many age groups.
I have been craving for a third space and currently have just been doing things solo or hanging out with family members. I joined a "hot girl walk" group last year which was nice because it wasn't like other meetup groups where there are the occasional creeps lol.
I love the idea of Substack/your blog being a form of an online third space! As someone who has never spoken to strangers online as an adult (as a teenager it was chatrooms, lol), Substack definitely feels like a communal safe place where I feel comfortable to share ideas and converse with others. My IRL third places with friends are my local coffee shop and restaurants, and the park. I enjoy talking to strangers at my favourite beach, the markets and my dog-walking route.
For a long time, it has been! In my corner of the UK, there are very few places open when I'm not at work, so I've been at a loss for a third place. Hopefully I can find one soon – I'm desperate for a non-chain coffee shop or bookshop.
A lot of public third spaces tend to be outdoors, which would be difficult when you live somewhere like the UK! We're coffee snobs in Australia so chain coffee shops aren't really a thing. The dream would be having a cosy cafe in a bookshop because those are rare here. I hope you find your space!
I can't wait for summer 😂 Sitting in a park again will be dreamy. Ahh I bet you have some great coffee shops. I'd love to open up a book café someday – hopefully my dreams won't only be dreams!
Beautiful as always Michelle. I think so many of us were sold a friendship dream through TV shows, and now social media.
I joined a coworking group last week for the first time and at one point I found myself almost crying... I couldn't believe the normalcy of being sat with other women of the same age just talking, and the fact that I was missing out on this before I joined.
I definitely rely on our lovely online community but I'd love to do a Substack IRL meetup one day!
Thanks so much my love. I completely agree, I'm so wistful for what was.
Aw that sounds so lovely! Co-working spaces are such a great idea, I used a few when I worked for myself and it really helped kerb the loneliness. And omg YES! I'd love a Substack meetup!!
Never not sneaking in Taylor Swift references but also never not sneaking into my mind and stealing my thoughts - you have such a wonderful way of capturing what it is to find your place in the world, Michelle! This really sparked me thinking about where my third place is, and I'm still not sure. Maybe I don't have one yet! But I definitely agree that the online community we've managed to build through this app provides a safe space that may not exist for all of us in the real world. Another stunning piece!!
Aw thank you so much Ella! Trying my very best (in life and in writing!) and I'm so glad it resonates. My third place at the moment is absolutely Substack I think, although I'm going to make a real effort to actually go to one or two places in 2025 and try to become part of the wider community.
Wherever I write my Substack is my third place too. As someone who was forced to leave my home to travel to a very different home, I appreciate a space that can transcend physical barriers.
Michelle this is such a great read — I guess I’ve always longed for a third place without really realising it. The thing I find difficult is that I live in a village and there are no coffee shops (only pubs, which don’t get me wrong, I love and we do spend a fair bit of time there). The nearest coffee shop is a 10 minute drive away and I feel I’ve always wanted to be somewhere with a place like that within walking distance.
I too, have started to rely on the online community more but still felt that lack of in person interaction. I’ve decided to start hosting my own irl writers brunch I’m looking forward to what connections it will bring 🤍
Thanks so much Jenna!
I'm in a small town and it's also really difficult, everywhere is closed by 5pm and it's tricky to see anybody after work. Your writers' brunch sounds like so much fun!
Thank you! And yes, it’s easy to imagine these places when you live somewhere more populated.
Loved this, definitely something I feel resonate with. Wherever I’ve lived I’ve always sought out that place of community! I think I’m quite lucky where I’m based now, there’s a lot more of it here than when I was in the city. Although I do feel guilty of not always making the most of it, so easy to put those needs last!
Also, there was a really interesting podcast episode Pandora Sykes did with Corey Keyes about ‘languishing’—it covered a lot of different things but one of them was the need for IRL community.
Great piece as always ♥️
Thanks so much Allie! It's tricky in a small town, but I think this year I'm going to make an effort to go to the silent book club in a nearby bookshop, as well as join the weekly writer's club. Fingers crossed it helps with this gaping hole in my life!
I’m so glad to have read this. I am also still looking for that third place. People forget how the lack of broader community and it’s effort to instal such places play a role in the very common chronic loneliness that people experience
Thanks for your kind comment Sol ❤️ I hope we can establish more grassroots community spaces, because they're really so essential for so many age groups.
I have been craving for a third space and currently have just been doing things solo or hanging out with family members. I joined a "hot girl walk" group last year which was nice because it wasn't like other meetup groups where there are the occasional creeps lol.
Any third place would be great for this certified loner girl, heh. That group sounds like so much fun! Female-centric communities are the way forward.
I love the idea of Substack/your blog being a form of an online third space! As someone who has never spoken to strangers online as an adult (as a teenager it was chatrooms, lol), Substack definitely feels like a communal safe place where I feel comfortable to share ideas and converse with others. My IRL third places with friends are my local coffee shop and restaurants, and the park. I enjoy talking to strangers at my favourite beach, the markets and my dog-walking route.
For a long time, it has been! In my corner of the UK, there are very few places open when I'm not at work, so I've been at a loss for a third place. Hopefully I can find one soon – I'm desperate for a non-chain coffee shop or bookshop.
A lot of public third spaces tend to be outdoors, which would be difficult when you live somewhere like the UK! We're coffee snobs in Australia so chain coffee shops aren't really a thing. The dream would be having a cosy cafe in a bookshop because those are rare here. I hope you find your space!
I can't wait for summer 😂 Sitting in a park again will be dreamy. Ahh I bet you have some great coffee shops. I'd love to open up a book café someday – hopefully my dreams won't only be dreams!
We need more bookshop cafes! My mother-in-law runs one in a country town and it's so cosy and wonderful. I hope your dream becomes a reality one day!
Beautiful as always Michelle. I think so many of us were sold a friendship dream through TV shows, and now social media.
I joined a coworking group last week for the first time and at one point I found myself almost crying... I couldn't believe the normalcy of being sat with other women of the same age just talking, and the fact that I was missing out on this before I joined.
I definitely rely on our lovely online community but I'd love to do a Substack IRL meetup one day!
Thanks so much my love. I completely agree, I'm so wistful for what was.
Aw that sounds so lovely! Co-working spaces are such a great idea, I used a few when I worked for myself and it really helped kerb the loneliness. And omg YES! I'd love a Substack meetup!!
Never not sneaking in Taylor Swift references but also never not sneaking into my mind and stealing my thoughts - you have such a wonderful way of capturing what it is to find your place in the world, Michelle! This really sparked me thinking about where my third place is, and I'm still not sure. Maybe I don't have one yet! But I definitely agree that the online community we've managed to build through this app provides a safe space that may not exist for all of us in the real world. Another stunning piece!!
Aw thank you so much Ella! Trying my very best (in life and in writing!) and I'm so glad it resonates. My third place at the moment is absolutely Substack I think, although I'm going to make a real effort to actually go to one or two places in 2025 and try to become part of the wider community.
Loved this one!
Wherever I write my Substack is my third place too. As someone who was forced to leave my home to travel to a very different home, I appreciate a space that can transcend physical barriers.
Thanks Katya!!
I think Substack is slowly becoming mine. The community here is beautiful and it feels so authenthic!