Great piece Michelle! The only kind of individualism we should be cultivating is in bettering ourselves so we can better be of service to something larger than ourselves. <3
I completely agree: we're better together yet nobody seems to remember that. I talk about this with my friends a lot since a few of the girls have children and it takes a village. Where's the village(s)?!
100%!!! And we are so worried about our individual right that we often forget about our civic responsibilities. It’s important to have balance, we don’t like as islands. We live in communities 🙏🏼
Absolutely!! I hate the whole 'I'm not doing this because they didn't do that for me' mentality. It's all about the smaller contributions to the bigger picture.
Totally agree! The trend towards individualism is clearly a long term one driven by other structural changes but increasingly I see it glorified in the guise of self care too: cancelling on people when you don’t feel like it in the name of self care, putting your own needs first always etc. Aside from being totally counterintuitive (there is so much research on the importance of community and relationships to individual wellbeing, above almost any other factor) but if everyone is putting themselves first all the time, where does that leave us collectively? But the more isolated we become, the more brands can make from selling us face masks I guess.
Completely agree that it's part of a long-term situation, it's just scary to see and overwhelming to think about. For me, this started to untangle in my mind over the pandemic, where it truly became 'every man for himself'. Yet I revelled in safely helping my neighbours and health-compromised parents pick up groceries, and love chatting to our elderly neighbours even today.
And, yes, the self-care discussion is a great one. There's a fine line and I don't think we're getting it right. Sometimes a little self-sacrifice can go a long way. Sure, we should look after ourselves too, but part of that is looking after the group, the village, the inner circle.
An excellent read Michelle, it actually got me a little emotional! I was having a conversation about the "be kind" movement the other day, and how it's often used in hindsight to plaster over wrongdoings. Specifically, I was talking about Gary Barlow's son and the memes about his height - if he were to, god forbid, do something to himself as a result of these memes would we not then all preach "be kind" with zero consideration for our own actions?
I think we've all become too individualistic and also far too ignorant of the fact other people are perceiving our actions.
I totally agree – 'Be kind' is used in the wildest ways lately. My friends and I always focus on 'the village' as some of us have children and others are experiencing huge life shifts, and it truly makes each of us stronger.
Well said Michelle! What I've had on my manifestation list is calling in a community, amongst the things I like to do but also me being a help within my local area. We need to care about others, we need to be interested in others, we need to help others. I moved into a new flat this year and recently made friends with 2 of the other women here and we talked about how great it is that we can even do this, since then we've supported one by going to a show she put on, another borrowed my hoover. These are small things but it just serves to remind me that I can help people who are not in my "circle" and that they don't have to be for me to care. Great post and I also really loved the part you said about how you are kind to yourself, you just wish others were! Thanks for sharing this.
That's a great thing to be manifesting and working on. Community is really so key, and I am so heartwarmed to hear of your experience. We have a local 'objects library' here where high-ticket goods can be shared out to those in need of them – hoovers, lawnmowers and carpet steamers have been good hire finds!
Great piece Michelle! The only kind of individualism we should be cultivating is in bettering ourselves so we can better be of service to something larger than ourselves. <3
Thanks for reading Maria!
I completely agree: we're better together yet nobody seems to remember that. I talk about this with my friends a lot since a few of the girls have children and it takes a village. Where's the village(s)?!
100%!!! And we are so worried about our individual right that we often forget about our civic responsibilities. It’s important to have balance, we don’t like as islands. We live in communities 🙏🏼
Absolutely!! I hate the whole 'I'm not doing this because they didn't do that for me' mentality. It's all about the smaller contributions to the bigger picture.
Exactly!! It’s exhausting and doesn’t take us forward! Love the way you put that Michelle - smaller contributions for the bigger picture 🙏🏼🙌🏼 yes!
Totally agree! The trend towards individualism is clearly a long term one driven by other structural changes but increasingly I see it glorified in the guise of self care too: cancelling on people when you don’t feel like it in the name of self care, putting your own needs first always etc. Aside from being totally counterintuitive (there is so much research on the importance of community and relationships to individual wellbeing, above almost any other factor) but if everyone is putting themselves first all the time, where does that leave us collectively? But the more isolated we become, the more brands can make from selling us face masks I guess.
Thanks for reading!
Completely agree that it's part of a long-term situation, it's just scary to see and overwhelming to think about. For me, this started to untangle in my mind over the pandemic, where it truly became 'every man for himself'. Yet I revelled in safely helping my neighbours and health-compromised parents pick up groceries, and love chatting to our elderly neighbours even today.
And, yes, the self-care discussion is a great one. There's a fine line and I don't think we're getting it right. Sometimes a little self-sacrifice can go a long way. Sure, we should look after ourselves too, but part of that is looking after the group, the village, the inner circle.
An excellent read Michelle, it actually got me a little emotional! I was having a conversation about the "be kind" movement the other day, and how it's often used in hindsight to plaster over wrongdoings. Specifically, I was talking about Gary Barlow's son and the memes about his height - if he were to, god forbid, do something to himself as a result of these memes would we not then all preach "be kind" with zero consideration for our own actions?
I think we've all become too individualistic and also far too ignorant of the fact other people are perceiving our actions.
Thanks Soph!
I totally agree – 'Be kind' is used in the wildest ways lately. My friends and I always focus on 'the village' as some of us have children and others are experiencing huge life shifts, and it truly makes each of us stronger.
Well said Michelle! What I've had on my manifestation list is calling in a community, amongst the things I like to do but also me being a help within my local area. We need to care about others, we need to be interested in others, we need to help others. I moved into a new flat this year and recently made friends with 2 of the other women here and we talked about how great it is that we can even do this, since then we've supported one by going to a show she put on, another borrowed my hoover. These are small things but it just serves to remind me that I can help people who are not in my "circle" and that they don't have to be for me to care. Great post and I also really loved the part you said about how you are kind to yourself, you just wish others were! Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks for reading, Sandra!
That's a great thing to be manifesting and working on. Community is really so key, and I am so heartwarmed to hear of your experience. We have a local 'objects library' here where high-ticket goods can be shared out to those in need of them – hoovers, lawnmowers and carpet steamers have been good hire finds!
Here's to more community and more care.
This is an excellent reminder. We’ve become too individualistic
Thanks Danny! I always feel crazy when I think about this, but prioritising community is surely the only way forwards and out of this unending swirl.